Alright, today's been bad, like real bad, on the procrastination front. I worked effectively from 9 to 3 and then sort of died. I clearly don't have tons to do work wise because of the holidays and tons of people being out of office, but I do have more productive things to do, even if they are not work related. For example, I could write more, brainstorm more on the long form fiction piece(s) I want to write, exercise (though that would be tough since I feel like I need to look like I'm working during work hours - but I probably don't really have to do that), read, work on my website's look, learn more about neural networks, learn more about leaflet, etc. It's a bit odd since the holidays, perhaps oddly, were quite focused and productive, either on spending quality time with my parents or on doing the aforementioned things.

One of the things that seems to go unwell is that I get sucked into the pointless activities. It might be okay if I were just playing a single game and then going back to the other activities, but instead I end up playing for an hour at a time. Even that isn't catastrophic per se. Still, I do have a goal to be ideal which in my mind means doing no more of that bs than 5 hours per week. I think really it means 0 hours per week and that should be the standard. I'm feeling some impulse to try and maintain a friendship with people that I only know through the internet because of gaming. Maybe I should just ask if that person wants to be Facebook friends. The relationship isn't particularly important, so that seems like a reasonable comprimise.

Roman asked me yesterday if I thought I had a unique perspective to share, and I said yes. I do feel that way, but I also don't feel particularly special. I mean certainly everyone has a unique perspective to share. Do I think I'm more on the edge of a larger number of bell curves than most people, well yes. Do I have more chance and potential to effect change of greater magnitude than most people, yeah probably. Still, that doesn't mean I necessarily will or have any obligation to do so. Maybe it should mean I have an obligation to do so? I probably do, to the extent that anyone's obligated to do anything for moral reasons. Of course, everyone thinks they're right, and who's really to say if any of us are. I guess there are some figures that are universally praised and respected for the way they acted in their time. And even the ones that don't completely stand the test of time still get credit in their own right and in their fields. Plus, the nature of the disdain is likely more transient than the nature of the respect. Well, at least I'd like to hope that forgiveness trumps begrudging in a way that makes that true.

If people were to merge, desire to merge (includes a very large amount of desire and willingness to compromise) and desire to share all of oneself with the other being would both be hugely important. What are the important things that comprise that all? Well, I guess it would be the things that people conceive of as important to their identity. That's probably why I want to merge more than most people: I don't value my identity very strongly. I mean yes, it is cool to be me and I like myself a lot, but I like lots of other people a lot too, so liking myself a lot doesn't seem particularly different from liking other people. It's hard for me to think of things that I wouldn't be willing to compromise on. I guess they would have to be core elements of my morality. Or, maybe of my logic / rationality? So like, my first thoughts were things like population control as a goal and a necessary thing, then the fact that it could be walked back based on uncertainty, but that uncertainty probably couldn't be walked back too far. So I guess the one thing I couldn't compromise on would be the core principal of nal. I think that's really it. And, I assume that any sane person already largely agrees with the nal concept, so then it would come down to the extent to which our interpretations of nal differed. Interestingly, that seems to be a thing that would be hard to judge in another person without putting forth a decent amount of effort. Ideally the merge process would be abortable and/or revertable, at least for some period, perhaps as little as a few weeks, but ideally for a slightly longer period. Naturally the 7 year cuttof passes my mind as a nice round number, but that seems very excessive. I should think 1 year would be plenty, or maybe 3 if we're being super conscious. At the same time, I'd think that you'd know relatively quickly if it was successful or not. Though I could see cases where that were not the case - either via malicious intent or via poor conscious organization / lack of self-awareness going into the process.

Regarding the universe I'm thinking about for my fiction, I like the rift, the a and b sides, the way that the rift stuff is introduced, etc. What I really seem to be sturggling with now is coming up with a plot specific to introducing the world. I like the characters being around eighth or ninth grade age. I like the ideas around how the governments are "involved" (probably not revealed to the reader much, if at all in this story though?). Actually, I take that back, I think the side a government should be demonized... omg, just model the figurehead after Trump, lol. Seems reasonable. Maybe it should be more layered, like where the government is clearly evil, but the figurehead is just the first and most obvious layer. At the end of the first book, he could be removed from office, but it could later in the series be revealed that more and more that was intentional and acceptable to the leaders in the party. Sort of a bit of House of Cards meets Narnia meets other stuff (maybe that can be moreso later books - I kind of want the first one to be lighter / more universally accessible). I think about the Harry Potter books a lot just because they were so accessible and popular. They are very apolitical though, not particularly capable of being though provoking unless you really try. I need the world to feel more real than that. Still, it would be nice to have such a clear "good" v "evil" theme going on, certainly at first (if not throughout), and it would be good to have a sort of minor victory for good at the end of the first book. But, it doesn't really make sense for children to be out to get the government a ton. What motivations could they have that end up getting involved with the government accidentally, maybe they don't even realize it is the government. The fact that their parents are spying on them could maybe be a thing that comes out to the public on the a side, but is covered up with respect to the rift but causes the figurehead to be dropped.

Breifly before I stop, I want to list out some clear todos: develop characters, have a more concrete plot, divide the plot roughly into chapters. Characters need motivations / goals, I mean, like D&D characters, but less back story and less fantasy. More like other fictional characters that are just above-average-cool-but-otherwise-basically-normal-within-the-context-of-their-univers humans. I feel like it should take place in Washington, D.C. beacause that just makes sense. Yeah, it can't be too much like House of Cards.